Standing at the junction of the M2 and the M25, on my way back from France, just needing one last ride to get me back to home in London. It was in the middle of the day so I had no worries about this last step. After a few minutes a large black Mercedes pulled up, the window came down and I was invited inside. All was going to plan. I stuck my backpack on the backseat and jumped in the front onto the deep leather seat.
I was greeted by a confident man, probably in his 60’s. He asked me where I was going and we sped off. Then came a string of questions about where I had been, what I did, how old I was…… none of my responses seemed to interest him in any way.
By now I has started to form an impression of the man; he was quite overweight, immaculately dressed in a tailored suit, large 60’s style heavy rimmed glasses (worn with no irony) and well spoken in a way that only a certain generation of national service Englishmen seem to be.
For no reason the conversation moved onto the music of the 60’s and he told me that he’d lived in London through that era.
-I’m sure we were much more liberated then than people of your age are now.
We chewed this topic over for a bit, then he moved on,
-So if I paid you to fuck a willing girl, would you do it?
I wasn’t expecting this, so I came out with a nervous, no.
-You see, back then I would have jumped at a thing like that. What would you have to lose? Don’t you like sex? You obviously need some money.
I was curious as to where he was coming from with all this.
-Well, I make pornographic films, very successfully and have done for many years. Why is it that we live in a more explicit age than any before and you wouldn’t even consider my offer hypothetically? My friends and I would have killed for an opportunity like that back then, we wanted whatever experience we could find.
This started to make me feel like some kind of serious square, his intention I’m sure. He seemed to be emitting a dark charisma that was making me feel very awkward in my skin, not physically threatened, just seeming two steps ahead of where he new my brain was going. I felt compelled to ask him more about this offer.
-I finance and direct new films all the time. As a man you’ll never make a fortune, but you can do OK, maybe get to travel to the USA. You may have to do some gay movies if you want to increase your earnings. It’s safe, I always use condoms in my work. You’ll get to screw some gorgeous girls. We’d have to try you out though, some men just can’t hold it up when the camera’s rolling. Take my number and give me a ring tomorrow.
By this point I found my hand taking the expensive fountain pen from his hand and writing down the number he was reciting to me onto the cover of my European map. He had provoked me into feeling like a person who didn’t know how to live. I knew my life had been wasted and mundane, there were people out there whose spirits were open to higher things, I wanted to be one of them.
Of course I never phoned him, I considered him the next day and his power had faded in my mind. The whole thing seemed like an unfortunate run in with a perverse old man.
Two weeks later I was watching a daytime TV show about the effects of the porn industry on the lives of girls involved, he was representing the movie makers.